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Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative

By Anna Rayner, Jun 4 2017 11:13AM

We all come across negativity from time to time - at work, at home or even from a complete stranger. This can be upsetting and emotionally draining. Unfortunately their negative energy can sometimes be absorbed by us so that we end up feeling angry, scared, unhappy or worn out.


There's a lot been written about how our reality is created by our thoughts. If you can accept this idea then you might start to realise that it's not the actual negativity of other people that is affecting you badly but the fact that you are allowing it to affect you. We all have free will and so it's the choice of the negative person to be that way. It's also your choice how you react to them.


Imagine that someone has made a negative comment to you. They might have rained on your parade by being condescending about something that is important to you e.g. your favourite hobby or the way you like to dress. Your immediate reaction might be anger or hurt or you might feel a sudden dislike of the person who made the comment. In which case, you are only adding to the negativity already generated by that person because you are allowing that negativity to be absorbed into yourself.


What follows are some ideas on how to deal with this sort of negativity and how you can protect yourself from it.


Affirmation and visualisation


When you come across someone who is being negative towards you imagine a bubble of shining white or golden light surrounding you and protecting you from their negativity whilst you repeat the following affirmation in your mind:


"I am protected from this person's negativity, I choose not to let it affect me, it bounces off the protective shield that surrounds me and it does me no harm"


Think positive


Unfortunately, the after effects of negativity can be hard to dispel quickly and it's often the case that we keep going over what has happened in our mind - making us feel angry or upset all day. If this happens to you then try and shift your mental focus onto something positive such as a loved one, your favourite flower, hobbies that bring you joy, a really good book that you've read etc. If you're still having problems diverting your attention then distract your train of thought by giving it something else to do e.g. remembering the route you took on a really lovely walk in a park or the countryside recently, trying to remember the words of a favourite poem or the plot of a film you've enjoyed.


Loving thoughts and calm words


There will inevitably be times when we can't help encountering someone with a negative attitude. Don't give in to the urge to argue with or challenge the negative speaker because you think they are wrong and you are right or that you'll feel better if you fight your corner. This is just your ego trying to control you and if the other person senses you are losing your temper this will only make things worse. They will feed off the negative energy you will be emitting. In these cases, use the affirmation and visualisation above to protect yourself whilst staying calm and friendly and if you feel the need to speak say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way". This can often be enough to diffuse things and allow you to carry on with your day. Then remove yourself from the situation and afterwards send that person a silent loving thought that you hope their day will get better. We don't always know why people behave in a negative way, often it could simply be that they're having a bad day and are taking it out on everybody they meet. This way you are doing everything you can to protect yourself and to help them too by turning a negative siutation into a positive one.


You are not to blame


Know that it is absolutely not your fault if the negative person's words make you feel worthless or disheartened. Their attitude is quite likely to be an indication that it is in fact them who are not happy with their lives or achievements so they are trying to make themselves feel better by deriding your hopes and beliefs. Let their negativity reflect back to them by using the affirmation and visualisation above. If the person who is being negative is not someone you can just walk away from e.g. a family member, a work colleague or a friend then you could perhaps try and turn the situation on its head by talking enthusiastically about why you love the very thing they have attacked. Then ask them what sort of things they are passionate about too and encourage them to pursue these.


All you need is love


There will always be negative energy in the world but it is balanced by positive energy, that is the nature of life. So, accept that if others don't agree with you then that's their choice and their problem, not yours. It's your life, not theirs and you are perfect as you are. All you have to do is love yourself, love others and know that you are loved in return.


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